Sam Carnage

So there's about twenty five minutes until Heroes will be on, so I'm really just killing time right now. There hasn't been much going on lately--well, that's a lie really. A lot has been going on I just haven't found it particulary exciting or worth talking about. There are a few select things that are noteworthy in that I find a particular joy in them, but there's a reason why I say "select few".

I got my cell phone (Finally!), and its super slim and sexy. Mhmm. I love it, but I don't have a local area code. I have a Portland area code since my sister lives in Oregon and she got me the phone under her plan as a present I suppose. In any case, a phone is a phone and I'm grateful to have one. I don't use it much, I only talk to about five people, but it really is so much more convenient to have your own cell phone.

Oppression to Empowerment is coming up really fast. Topic selections are tomorrow. I really really hope my group will be able to snag The Beat Generation; not only will Quale definitely be able to help us out since he's practically an expert on guys like Kerouac and Ginsberg, but I know for sure he'll want to help us, and that would be a great advantage. I can't believe I'm this worked up over a project, but I really do have high hopes this year so maybe it'll do me some good.

Trying to think of what else is worth mentioning... Oh! I have my car... Just no license. Yet. I'm hoping to get one this summer maybe? I can't say yet for sure it really depends, but I really need to be able to drive soon since I'll be getting a job hopefully within the next few months. I really could use my own cash and I hate depending on my parents for everything.

Anywayyyy. That just occupied about five minutes of my time but I have to write something up for a personal project of mine; don't want to fall behind on things like that. :]

I haven't written a new entry here in ages. I suppose i just haven't been in the mood to write anything; I've been pretty lax with LiveJournal as well. This might have something to do with the fact that my pessimistic side is getting the better of me and I pretty much exude negativity, but school is getting more than just a little stressful and I can't stand so many people there. The other students that raid our bench during lunch are absolutely infuriating. I hate to make it sound as though they "stole our territory", but I can't think of another way to describe their intrusion. They're the most aggravating bunch of immature twits I've ever met at our school. While I'm sure they're nice (but I don't really care), they have absolutely no manners, are loud and obnoxious to a degree where it isn't even cute, and they're all otaku narutards that cannot relate to anything that's realistic because they're social rejects and can't find any real companionship outside of their own sick, twisted little fantasy lands. Whining isn't exactly something I like to do, but I am so irritated with these morons. To be honest, I don't want to leave the bench. That bench has been our (our meaning mine and my friends') bench for the past year and the twits that decided "THESE PEOPLE MUST BE OUR FRIENDS BECAUSE THEY LIKE ANIME" decide that its just fine and dandy to sit with us. I don't know any of their names save for two, and I dislike them with a passion. Then they ask for money, to have drinks of my soda, etc. etc. NO OFFENSE BUT I DON'T KNOW YOU (NOR DO I CARE TO CHANGE THAT) SO NO YOU CANNOT PUT YOUR DISGUSTING SALIVA ALL OVER MY SODA. No manners at all, I swear. So glad I got that out of my system. "Playground" squabbles are really not worth ranting about I suppose, and I should act instead of whine--which I am going to do--but I needed a good rant.

Andyyyy. I've seen you online a few times, but I haven't IMed you in such a longggg time. I'm sorry. I've just been so busy with homework. I've been meaning to at least drop a hello or something, but it always slips my mind. How are you (do you use Vox religiously or are you not here thus making this message rather pointless)?

My fingers feel frozen; the weather is cooling down considerably with the time change and all. Its supposed to rain during the next few days. I wouldn't mind a little bit of rain. Rain sounds good. :]

How cute were you as a baby/child? Let's see those baby pics!

Baby Sam

That would be my older sister on the left.

Baby Sam2

Apparently, I took to reading incredibly boring things at a young age.

I just got back from Fort Bragg about a half hour ago. My mom stayed behind so she can finish her natural healing thing, so we'll be going back either Wednesday or Thursday. The weather there was actually kind of nice. It wasn't foggy, but there was a lot of cool moisture in the air since we weren't too far from the ocean.

We stayed on the second story of the motel in one of the nicer rooms. It had wooden floors and a big TV in it, but only one bed. Luckily, there was a couch for me to stay on, so I've basically been sleeping on that for four days straight. Our motel was pretty close to downtown Fort Bragg so my dad and I went shopping around there. They had lots of nifty little thrift stores here and there, and some other interesting antique and trinket shops. But the best buy we made (at least I think so), was purchasing a gently used iPod Nano for $10. The family that was selling it really needed to get rid of their things because they were scraping by to make money to make payments on their house. Housing in Fort Bragg is incredibly expensive; the property itself costs so much that the houses are usually run-down and not well taken care of. I was pretty excited about this purchase. I'm actually updating it right now. This baby's going to come in handy because I hate lugging my iPod Video around school where I know people are going to want to steal it.

Dad and I took a few pictures, so I'll probably upload them after I upload some other pictures for my parents' business. But anyway, we didn't have a very eventful trip. Just browsed around the town and checked out the cafes and things like that. We actually found a really nice little Breakfast/Fish 'n' Chips place run by a Vietnamese family. Their eldest son was our waiter, and I remember thinking at the time that I liked his hair because he really did have nice hair. xD I should have taken a picture for you, Hannah.

Blahh. I'm going to finish updating my Nano now. I missed you all. :D

I haven't felt much like updating lately for whatever reason. It's not that I've been busy, because I really haven't been. And even if there's not much to write about, I still find something worth mentioning. Though I do suppose that my lack of sleep has been taking its toll on my mind; it's been increasingly difficult to go to bed earlier, wake up early enough to make it to school and then attempt to stay awake. I stayed up until about 2 AM the other day, and it just about killed me today. I've been updating my iPod nearly everyday, and that tends to take a good chunk out of my day. I have something like 1061 songs on it right now, two movies, two music videos and one show. All in all, I'm only using about 5.something or other GB of the 55.something or other GB of memory. This constant desire to make new additions to my iPod has contributed greatly to my lack of rest, but I'm trying to prepare for the upcoming trip.

On Thursday, I believe, my parents say we're to leave for Fort Bragg. I can't quite remember how long the drive there is, but my mom is going for some natural cleansing thing. We're going to stay in this privately owned hotel where they have this spa sort of thing. My mom is into all this natural remedy/cleansing stuff, so I guess as long as she thinks it'll help her, it just might. So in order to prepare for the monotonous drive I'm bound to experience, I've been preparing myself--adding new albums and movies to my iPod in hopes that it'll keep me entertained for long enough. Currently, I'm waiting for the PoTC download to finish so I can put that on my iPod, but its taking bloody forever. I have until tomorrow night for it to finish, but I think there's only 50 minutes of the download left.

Tomorrow is the last day of summer school. I enjoyed spending time with some of my friends to an extent, but I've noticed I've been feeling quite irritated around them. Even still, we've been showing the incoming freshman the ropes and making them feel very uncomfortable. The other day I was explaining to them that at our high school sexual harrassment doesn't exist. To prove this point, Kaitlyn and I just planted our hands on eachother's breasts, to which everyone except for the freshman (as they were looking a) uncomfortable or b) appalled) laughed. Its quite true though, its not uncommon to see this at our school, and no one really does anything about it. I'm not quite sure about other schools, but ours is definitely quite open about sexual topics; not everyone is mature about sex, but most people seem to be able to talk about it maturely. Then again, its also not uncommon to walk by someone and randomly hear a sex joke. Its just how it is at ML. The school is more like a college campus than a high school campus, what with the protests that happen and all. I guess you could say there's not a school like it in all of Northern California; it really is something else. In any case, I'm glad summer school is over. I'm trying to be optimistic about this upcoming trip to Fort Bragg, and I'm in desperate need of a good book to take with me.

Anyway, for those of you that are sick--I really do hope that you feel better soon. I probably won't be commenting much during the next few days since its not likely that I'll have an internet connection where I'm going to be. Hope you all enjoy the rest of your week. :)

[EDIT] By the way, the new layouts are sexy. <3

I just woke up from another peculiar dream. It really was odd; I've never really had any dreams like this in which people who are close to me are murdered. I've noticed that a lot of the times when my family is involved in dreams like this, they seem to be replaced. My mom is a different person, my dad is a different person, I even have siblings that don't exist. In retrospect, I never noticed it in my dream, but now I can't help but see a resemblance beteen the man who was supposedly my father and the actor Gary Sinise. It was very peculiar. "My mother" was a humble looking woman, who loved her children dearly. I never felt jealous in the dream, but I always supposed she loved "my little brother and sister" more than she loved me, but I was okay with that because my father was basically mine. I can't quite remember my little brother's name, but I rememeber filming a home video of him and "my dad", and "my dad" was bragging about how he'd someday teach this little brother of mine how to play baseball. I also recall filming "my mother" and "my little sister". They were just being silly and making jokes on camera. It was enjoyable.

Later on in the dream I was at school for a while. I saw a few teachers I've had in the past that I'm not too fond of, but that was the least of my worries. I also remember sitting around a bunch of morons that wouldn't shut up, so I was stuck tuning them out which eventually lead to me tuning all sounds out. By the time I was out of school I was pretty pissed off. I guess I walked home, and as I walked up the driveway I noticed that "dad" was still at work. The car wasn't in the driveway. So I walk in, and at this point for some reason I remember that "mom" always has a little bell tied around her ankle. I strained my ears to hear it, and for a second I feel like I can, but I was just tricking myself. I don't really understand why this upset me so much, but I started frantically searching the house calling for my mom and little siblings. It got to the point where I knew something was very wrong, so I started searching the house for forced entry, blood, or anything that could point to a murder or kidnapping. I didn't find anything, so I brought the search outside. I went out front and quickly scanned the front yard to yield nothing, so I was about to head to the backyard when I stumbled across someone who I assumed to be our maid. She had this incredibly wicked and crazed smile on her face, but what I noticed the most was this.. Leek? There was a leek sticking through her head. Like, through one ear and out the other. Of all things that had to be sticking through her ears, why did it have to be a leek? Surprisingly, I wasn't afraid of this, I was actually quite calm. She began chanting "Don't look in the kitchen, you won't find them in the kitchen.. NOT IN THE KITCHEN!" And then she basically fell over dead.

I didn't heed whatever she said and ran in the house to grab the phone. There was nothing in the kitchen. I grabbed the phone, only to discover that our line was disconnected. So, with the phone still in hand I ran over to my neighbor Theresa's house, who's only a few doors down from us. As I'm approaching, I see three, burnt bodies wrapped in toilet paper. Without even thinking about it, I know who they are, and I run into Theresa's house without knocking as I'm much accustomed to doing. I expected to see her son Matt there, as we're pretty good friends, but instead I run into Chris (her other son), who's something of a pyromaniac. By now, Theresa and her husband (that really doesn't actually exist) are walking in looking puzzled and I explain to them that I need to use their phone since ours is disconnected (I was still holding it), I then got a glass of water because I had this huge lump in my throat. Chris was confusedly watching me, so I explained to him in this oddly calm voice that my mother and brother and sister had been murdered. I remember dialing the numbers, and then the scene faded out. I was reading something I had wrote in the dream, talking about how "dad" was vacationing, probably finding whores to make the pain go away. I sounded angry, really angry. I don't really understand why I wrote what I wrote, but I definitely felt the anger. Then I woke up and it was over.

I never thought about it in the dream, but now that I do think about it, if that situation were real.. Where I had just come home from school to find my family dead,  I would instantly become a suspect. And I never thought about it until I was writing this entry, but if the bodies were burnt and by Theresa's house and her son is a pyromaniac... I never thought about that until now and its a rather unsettling thought. Other bizarre things I noticed were that not once did I feel scared throughout the dream, I was so collected that it seems wrong almost, even if they weren't real. The other bizarre thing is that I never once thought about "my father" after I found the bodies. And of course, I still want to know why the maid had a leek through her head...

Seriously, why a leek?

Short Skirt/Long Jacket

4 comments

I uploaded this song for my brother so he wouldn't have to buy it on iTunes just to listen to it. I was already thinking about posting it; now I have a reason to. :)

Play any instrument or speak any language, which do you choose?
Question submitted by cruftbox.vox.com.

While the ability to speak any language sounds appealing, I think I would prefer to play any instrument since music is a language everyone speaks. People react to different types of music in different types of ways; to be able to play any instrument ultimately means you can find a way to reach any person and really connect with them, and that's really the point of all forms of communication anyway. Music is definitely a universal language, and its not like learning as many instruments as I can isn't one of my ambitions already. :)

When You Were Young

The Killers

2 comments

I uploaded the When You Were Young LP so any who'd like to can give it a listen. To be honest, I really don't have much to say about the LP. I'm neither amazed nor dissatisfied; its not the kind of song that immediately draws you in. I can tolerate it, but I'm more likely to skip past the song if I were shuffling on my iPod. While my opinion of the LP isn't too high, I still have high hopes for Sam's Town because Hot Fuss was a great album and it'd be a real shame if the follow-up were to be a real joke. Anyway, cheers!

I just woke up from a two hour nap and I'm still kind of tired. I hate taking naps because I always seem to wake up with a dry, nasty feeling in my mouth, but I really needed the rest since I hardly slept at all last night; that much was obvious. The strange thing though, is that I can vividly remember the dream I had. Normally, I remember most of my dreams quite well, but I tend to forget them maybe an hour after I wake up, but this one doesn't really have any fuzzy parts in them. There was a lot of skipping around, but no real fuzzy parts.

The last part of the dream was probably the only part that I find of any significance. As to what that significance is, I'm not quite sure. I remember walking into a gym much like my high school's, and several people were sitting on the bleachers. Standing in the middle of the gym floor were several teenagers who I don't recall seeing before. Anyway, these teenagers were all boys and they all had instruments one would see in a marching band. A few minutes after a few other girls and I arrived, they began playing. They marched forward til they were a few feet in front of one of the bleachers where they came to a halt and then carefully unloaded their instruments. The next thing I know they're all in tuxedos and standing on the other end of the hall. Tango music is filling the gym and I'm pretty sure I'm in a dress since all the other girls that came in with me were wearing dresses. Both boys and girls stepped forward all sultry-like, and it was just so strange. I remember some of the dance moves that were used, I don't know what they're called, but I'd be able to demonstrate them. Anyway, I was familiar with my dance partner, but I never heard his name in the dream. I don't really recognize him from anyone I've seen before, so I guess he was just a figment of my imagination. In any case, I was feeling slightly nervous since I hadn't danced the tango in a long time, apparently. I said something to the affect of "Oh God, I'm doing horribly. I really haven't danced the tango since we did the film." To this he replied "Don't worry, you're doing fine and I've got you, okay?" So we ended up just laughing and messing up. No one seemed to care, so we kept laughing and pretty soon everyone was laughing. It was so strange.

I'm not sure what exactly I was refering to when I said "the film" but I'm pretty sure I was referring to a silverscreen movie or something. I can't help but make a connection to The Little Rascals, for some reason everyone had a childish look to them.. So maybe that's it. What I don't understand is of all things, why would I dream that? I guess my suconscience was really begging for some form of release.